Friendship

I am sorry for the silence, I have had some major life changes and unfortunately I haven't been able to update my blog as much as I would want to, However these are good life changes but I believe better time management on my part, will assist me in updating my blogs as often as I would like and of course you would hope.

I have had a lot on my mind in relation to friendship and for a long time, I could not articulate my thoughts well enough to sound diplomatic but at the same time to get my point across the way I want it to be heard. I figured there is really no diplomatic way to speak from your heart so here it goes.

I recognise I not perfect, I recognise I have certain traits that may or may not rub people in the right way However I make no apology for who I am because I sincerely believe that above all I am who I am. I am true to myself and pretending to be something or someone I am not will not be fair on me and most importantly you. Unfortunately in most cases most people misunderstand who I am and what I represent and for those reasons may not necessarily want to be in presence at all times...and to be honest thats totally fine. Sometimes I dont want to be in your presence either. Doesnt mean I dont like you and respect you, it just means for that period of time the vibe is off and I may need to pull back and regroup, get my thoughts together and probably just get over whatever is bugging me at that particular time to be able to continue my friendship.

When I build relationships with anyone, regardless of the context my goal is to make that relationship last. Of course everyday is a learning process for me. Each day I learn something about the person I like or may not like but ultimately after a period of time, I weigh the friendship analyse it from all angles and then make a decision if this friendship is worth my time or not. If I realise its not worth my time, I gradually pull away and move on with my life, if it is worth my time, I invest all my energy time and space into the relationship to make it work. However, at times I have invested in a friendship where there was no reciprocrity.(sp) Those are the times I begin to wonder why? Is there a problem with me thats why the person can't be bothered to work on the friendship or have I been blinded for so long that I didnt realise the was r eally no friendship?


Moving on...I am an honest person. Sometimes brutally honest and affectionately called by a few as a bitch and you know what? I really dont care! I believe that when I am in a relationship with someone its important to be honest at all cost. Of course I have told that occassional white lie to boost the persons self esteem and thats only because I genuinely care about the persons well being and at that particular moment being brutal honest will do more harm than good so why can't people do the same with me?

I lose a friend every once in awhile and sometimes I can't be bothered;glad they are gone other times I really wish there was something I could do to bring them back but I am learning that sometimes letting go is whats important and I also learn that what I want in life is also very important and how I need to be treated is also very important. I also learnt that when you are at fault with a friend its important to apologise and make the situation right. We all have pride and at times we let our pride get the most of us but if you genuinely love and care about someone, its important to put your pride aside and ask for forgiveness because you know what? Sometimes thats all they want to hear to forgive you. I know with me thats all I want to hear. Someone genuinely sorry for what they have done and is asking forgiveness.

So here is my blog...might be awhile till I get to another one but i hope you enjoy this.