Death in the Air

I have been hesistating to write this blog for a few hours now but I just can't shake it so I finally decided to put it down. I lay awake this morning just thinking. I had just finished reading about the Air France story on cnn and the new update was 48 bodies have been found. At that moment all I could think about was death. The only sure thing for all of us. Dying.

Death scares me, probably scares most of us. The thought of never living again, not knowing what happens after one is gone if there is really heaven or hell and if there is, where I am going. Freaks me out. The inevitable. No matter what I do or say its going to come and it scares me. Not knowing when it will happen scares me, Knowing when it would happen would scare me more.There was probably only one time in my life I wasnt scared of dying. When my girl died. I saw her a couple of days before she died and she had accepted her fate. She knew it was coming and even if she was scared she sure didnt show it. She spent her last days comforting us instead of us comforting her. What made me realise she was ready to go was her last few moments on earth. Wanting to take her last breath on her own, she took off her oxgyen mask took her last breath and died.Peaceful, reassuring and ready. At that moment I no longer feared death. I knew that when my time care I would be ready.

So my blog isnt completely morbid, its not purely about dying but rather its about living. The passangers and crew on the Air France flight didnt see it coming. They were all probably in their own seperate worlds, thinking about getting home to family, reminsicing on their trip to Brazil or so engrossed in their meals or the shows they were watching they probably were oblivious to what was going on. That has me thinking. We all live our lives oblivious to what is going to happen next. We live like there is a tomorrow. Like we have all the time in the world. We plan for tomorrow, a week from now, a month, year, 10 years from now but all we really have is today. I am sure a lot of you, have that favourite perfume you use only on special occassions, the dishes you only pull out when company come on. That bottle of wine you plan to open when there is a big celebration. We all do that. I do that, I even have underwear I plan to wear on a special day. The question is, What makes today less special than tomorrow? Why can't today be that special day. The fact that we are here is special enough. lets stop waiting for tomorrow to do something. Lets do it today. I am all for planning, I believe that something should be put away incase tomorrow does come but at the same time live for today. Life is short. Lets not wait for a tragedy to start living.